For my first blog entry I thought it’d be appropriate write about something that got me to make this site in the first place. Back in March I started rewatching the entire Daria series. It was one of my favorites back in High School and it holds up pretty well. One episode in particular keeps popping up in my brain through, “Art Burn”. It’s season 5, episode 62. Give it watch, you will enjoy it I promise. The basic premise is Jane Lane, Daria’s friend gets a job making replicas of established paintings, but over time she becomes burnt out and grows to feel that it interferes with her artistic creativity. This resonates so deeply with me after 2020. At the start of this pandemic I just started saying yes to everything, I thought I better strike while the iron is hot and stockpile while I can. This exchange below is laser accurate.
Jane: None of them are my best work. Hell, none of them are my work. Lately, I haven't even wanted to do original stuff. Dammit, Daria! I never got creative block before.
Daria: Your creativity has been channeled into other areas, like inventing paranoid delusions centered around nonexistent art counterfeiting rings.
I got a lot of commissions done which was great, but it was a real struggle to find a balance that didn’t completely drain me creatively or burn me out. At some points I’d get very dogmatic and would only allow myself to draw what I was getting paid to draw. Looking back I don’t think it’s a coincidence that those were some of the hardest slogs and most unproductive times. I realized a few months in that I had to take breathers every day and between projects if I wanted to stay sharp and not turn into a drudge. What good am I to clients if my brain has turned into mush? It takes more than my hand to make it happen and if my head isn’t right it’s gonna show. Take some time to draw just for me if I didn’t want my imagination to stagnate or loose my own personal style. And also that my wrist needs a freaking rest sometimes too. So after the crazy workload that was 2020, I promised myself I was gonna get my act together instead of flitting from one gig to the next and put my work on a proper site. The aim is the try and carve out my own little space to bring me some peace of mind and maybe make some new connections. I used to blog quite a bit back in the day and I always found it cathartic. I want to share my art, ideas, creative process and experiences in one simple place. Hopefully this will nourish me and keep me from becoming creatively bankrupt.